Welcome the Month of Love

Time flies so fast as we entered the 2nd month of 2009. For a number of reasons, February had become a very special month for me. I’m sure most of you will agree that we all had our share with exciting memories of Valentines Day dating (especially way back highschool and college years). But as I mature in life, recollections of this love month went deeper and complex - February 2000 when me and Zy’s dad officially became lovers, February 2003 when I started carrying Zy on my womb, February 2005 when I turned down his marriage proposal and February 2006 when we mutually decided to finally end our six year old relationship. Such a whirlwind of events – joys and pains cycle involving my personal lovelife.

February 2007 when my son started giving me handmade Valentines Card. It was initially one of his school projects, just made out of an ordinary bondpaper and crayons - a heart shape drawing on the front and “I love you mommy” message at the back. I’m so proud to have such a sweet little son. The mere fact of him trying to show his love for his mother touches me a lot. Now, aside from birthdays and christmas occasion – it has been his habit to make and surprise me by giving anyday-no-special-event cards. I love you very much my son!

My one and only Son...

February 14 also marks my mother’s natal day. Advance Happy Birthday Ma! I feel very fortunate being your daughter. Our bonding is so strong that others often envy our closeness as you seem to be just my older sister. I miss you Mama. I miss the taste of your cooking. I miss the way we watch tagalong drama movies together, I miss our weekly grocery shopping. Believe it or not, I miss your nagging too. Hehe…

Me with my ever "rcokin" Mama

So going back the love topic…

If you check the internet and read several books on sale, you will find a lot of different classifications about love. But personally for me, there are only two categories of it – natural and developed.

Natural Love:
Needless to say, this kind of love is pre-determined as it is tighten by blood relation. Did anyone every questioned a parent’s undying for their children? Why does sometimes a brother give way and sacrifice his own happiness for the benefit of his other sibling’s success? To all the singles around, it goes without saying that your future kids will be your outmost priority in life right? Natural love for me is certainly the most divine feeling ever created by God. I love my family so much that their happiness matters most to me than anything else in the world. My son being on the top followed by my mom and siblings – they complete me. All my decisions and future aspirations revolve around them.

Developed Love:
This kind of love for me basically starts when two (or even more) newly-acquainted strangers decided to make their relationship deeper. Purpose, reason and ending vary per person as this kind of love is more complicated and uncertain. Of course, the happily-ever-after married couples and the bestfriend-forever relationship are all product of this category. Sad that most of the time, we tend to abuse this noble developed love. Sharing to you several reasons:

The "if kind of developed love". Did anyone of you ever demand something to anyone for the name of love? I remember I used to always say to Zy’s dad “I will love you back if.. blah, blah, blah..”. One of the things I learned the hard way – that no matter how I want things to work and be perfect, love can not be bargained. I was building a relationship based upon future expectations. How many of you who experienced failed relationship because conditions are not met?

The "because kind of developed love”. Remember telling your past boyfriend that you love him because he was the most popular guy on the whole college university? Or telling your girlfriend you love her because she is so pretty and sexy? This is common among teenagers because it is solely based upon the others’ current status – not in tune with reality as it demands that things stay the same in an ever changing world.

The "in spite kind of developed love". This for me is the only form of true love under this category. How many of us have enough courage to tell someone these phrases - "I love you in spite of your faults”, “I love you in spite of your being fat and ugly”, “I love you in spite of the times you are selfish and inconsiderate”? True love is unconditional and secured. It is a love we don't naturally possess but must learn because we know and feel that the person deserves it. It is an enduring love that doesn't even keep a score card and might last forever regardless of what we have done today. But be careful, when you started to say “I love you in spite of your womanizing” or “I love you in spite of your physical and verbal abuses” – please go and see a doctor. That’s not true love anymore, that’s simply stupidity and maybe… mental illness.