Saturday, January 31, 2009

Welcome the Month of Love


Time flies so fast as we entered the 2nd month of 2009. For a number of reasons, February had become a very special month for me. I’m sure most of you will agree that we all had our share with exciting memories of Valentines Day dating (especially way back highschool and college years). But as I mature in life, recollections of this love month went deeper and complex - February 2000 when me and Zy’s dad officially became lovers, February 2003 when I started carrying Zy on my womb, February 2005 when I turned down his marriage proposal and February 2006 when we mutually decided to finally end our six year old relationship. Such a whirlwind of events – joys and pains cycle involving my personal lovelife.

February 2007 when my son started giving me handmade Valentines Card. It was initially one of his school projects, just made out of an ordinary bondpaper and crayons - a heart shape drawing on the front and “I love you mommy” message at the back. I’m so proud to have such a sweet little son. The mere fact of him trying to show his love for his mother touches me a lot. Now, aside from birthdays and christmas occasion – it has been his habit to make and surprise me by giving anyday-no-special-event cards. I love you very much my son!


My one and only Son...

February 14 also marks my mother’s natal day. Advance Happy Birthday Ma! I feel very fortunate being your daughter. Our bonding is so strong that others often envy our closeness as you seem to be just my older sister. I miss you Mama. I miss the taste of your cooking. I miss the way we watch tagalong drama movies together, I miss our weekly grocery shopping. Believe it or not, I miss your nagging too. Hehe…
Me with my ever "rcokin" Mama

So going back the love topic…

If you check the internet and read several books on sale, you will find a lot of different classifications about love. But personally for me, there are only two categories of it – natural and developed.

Natural Love:
Needless to say, this kind of love is pre-determined as it is tighten by blood relation. Did anyone every questioned a parent’s undying for their children? Why does sometimes a brother give way and sacrifice his own happiness for the benefit of his other sibling’s success? To all the singles around, it goes without saying that your future kids will be your outmost priority in life right? Natural love for me is certainly the most divine feeling ever created by God. I love my family so much that their happiness matters most to me than anything else in the world. My son being on the top followed by my mom and siblings – they complete me. All my decisions and future aspirations revolve around them.

Developed Love:
This kind of love for me basically starts when two (or even more) newly-acquainted strangers decided to make their relationship deeper. Purpose, reason and ending vary per person as this kind of love is more complicated and uncertain. Of course, the happily-ever-after married couples and the bestfriend-forever relationship are all product of this category. Sad that most of the time, we tend to abuse this noble developed love. Sharing to you several reasons:

The "if kind of developed love". Did anyone of you ever demand something to anyone for the name of love? I remember I used to always say to Zy’s dad “I will love you back if.. blah, blah, blah..”. One of the things I learned the hard way – that no matter how I want things to work and be perfect, love can not be bargained. I was building a relationship based upon future expectations. How many of you who experienced failed relationship because conditions are not met?

The "because kind of developed love”. Remember telling your past boyfriend that you love him because he was the most popular guy on the whole college university? Or telling your girlfriend you love her because she is so pretty and sexy? This is common among teenagers because it is solely based upon the others’ current status – not in tune with reality as it demands that things stay the same in an ever changing world.

The "in spite kind of developed love". This for me is the only form of true love under this category. How many of us have enough courage to tell someone these phrases - "I love you in spite of your faults”, “I love you in spite of your being fat and ugly”, “I love you in spite of the times you are selfish and inconsiderate”? True love is unconditional and secured. It is a love we don't naturally possess but must learn because we know and feel that the person deserves it. It is an enduring love that doesn't even keep a score card and might last forever regardless of what we have done today. But be careful, when you started to say “I love you in spite of your womanizing” or “I love you in spite of your physical and verbal abuses” – please go and see a doctor. That’s not true love anymore, that’s simply stupidity and maybe… mental illness.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

My Ever Dearest Zyrus


A morning phone call from my son never fails to make my day. Just fifteen minutes ago, a hyperactive Zyrus was talking on the other line describing how he finished his banana pancake midnight snack and shared stories of his last night’s dream. I got inspired after our conversation that I decided to open my laptop and make an article about him. So taking you all along memory lane on how and when my journey to motherhood started.

March 2003:
I had my monthly period twice. First was on the 2nd week that lasted for only 2 days which is weird since my normal menstruation goes up to 4-5days. Then I had another light blood discharge on the 4th week - it’s so light that I decided to see an ob-gyne already. Our family has a long history of ovarian cyst. My mom herself was a victim as her ovary was removed 10 years ago. I thought I’m having the same symptoms also. I had the shock on my life when while I was on the trans-vaginal ultrasound – the doctor surprisingly said “do you know that you are 6 weeks pregnant?” Waaaaaaaaaaa! I’m totally clueless. But I fall in love with my son already the moment I saw his tiny peanut-like young body and heard his active heartbeat – such a divine feeling.

I had spotting – the bleeding is an indication that the baby’s grip on my womb was not so strong and may eventually lead to miscarriage if it won’t stop. I was advised to take bedrest for a month, just literally lying on the best for straight 30 days – not doing anything but to eat and sleep. The only time I get up is when I go toilet or take a bath. I did everything to ensure a healthy pregnancy. I gained 20 pounds and forced myself to eat and drink items I don’t like eversince (I hate banana but I need it for potassium/ Annum milk taste so yuck but I need a daily 2 glasses intake of it). Not to mention the agony of morning sickness and the painful all-of-a-sudden puking. However, there’s a joy over the fact that there’s a life growing inside my womb – the impulse kicking and the feel of movement when the infant change position always brings me joy. The peaceful moments of me listening to classical music of Mozart and Beethoven because I know it will be good for my baby’s emotional molding. I knew I was having a boy on my fifth month term. I started to buy boy infant items and researched a name for him. His nursery room was ready when I reached my seventh month. Attended 3 different suprise baby showers organized by my friends and relatives. My whole family was so excited as we were all counting the days until the day my son will see the world.



Zyrus own mini-refrigirator and tv/dvd inside his new room




Zy's room theme is obviously Barney, the purple Dinasour


Mommy Ybeth really enjoyed buying toys for Zy (even if he was not born yet)


November 2003:
My actual due date was around December 5, 2003. But maybe because of work pressure and tension on my personal lovelife involving issues over my son’s father, I had an early deliver on November 14. My waterbag broke when I was on the middle of doing window shopping. I was alone and asked help of the sales lady to escort me to the taxi stand. Inside the cab I was panicking, calling my mom as I'm confuse where to proceed - home first or directly go hospital. My mom called my doctors (OB-Gyne and Anesthesiologist) and told them that I will give birth already.

I gave birth to a healthy bouncing boy at exactly 11:15pm. It was a caesarian delivery because I’m still not feeling the labor pains even if my waterbag broke already. I still clearly remember that I was so nervous inside the operating room. But I remained strong because I know I can only really on my inner strength, no one can help me this time. The moment I heard my son’s little voice and saw his small body – ah! unexplainable feeling of happiness and pride.

Sleeping time...


November 2005:
Toddler year came and this was the time I started to notice that my son was too hyperactive. Good thing that test result reveals that he is still on the normal side an not an attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) kid. He started to become addicted to different cartoon characters especially to Spongebob and Barney. This is also the year he started to enjoy toys shopping that it even became a form of bonding between us – eveytime we feel bored at home – we go malls and buy anything he wants. Sadly, this is also the time he became sickly. At a young age of 2 – he already that 3 history of being hospitalized:

1st – Bronchitis. Fired my first nanny because of this. Turns-out his lungs weaken because he was exposed to a nanny who has history of tuberculosis. My fault, as I didn’t require an x-ray from the nanny – big lesson learned the hard way.

2nd – Steven Johnson Syndrome. Yes, my son is a survivor of this fatal syndrome. Just google it for more define explanation but briefly, it’s is a severe allergic reaction from food, drugs and environment – in other words, severe allergic react on almost anything. Only 5,000 out of 1 person get affected by this. I was so sad seeing my son on pain as he was confined for a week because of this. His lifestyle totally changed after. He was advise to be environmentally-isolated and to be on a strict hypoallergenic diet. Imagine a 2 year old boy prohibited to eat hotdogs, burgers and fries? Imagine my son just secluded on his air-conditioned room and not allowed to go park because the smallest of dust and flower pollen will make him cough and get skin rashes bigtime? Good thing that as years passed by, he was able to develop stronger immunity that his doctors allowed him to little by little have a normal daily routine. His lifetime steriods and other maintenance drugs are expensive but I don't have any other choice but to buy because those are all very essential for his normal survival. Up to this moment, he is still monthly seeing his allergeologist and dietitian (really not cheap believe me), this is in fact on top of his regular general pediatrician.

3rd – Tonsilitis with Hypersensitivity Reaction. Tonsilitis – Tonsilitis caused of too much ice cream and chocolate intakes while the hypersensitivity reaction was caused by taking a medicines he was allergic with.

Zyrus and Mama Lola at Hongkong Disneyland

Zyrus and Mama Lola at Hongkong Oceanpark


Zyrus at Macau



Mommy Ybeth and Baby Zyrus loves to wear same shirt design



October 2006:
I accepted a Singapore-based job opportunity with the objective of providing my son with the best life possible. I want to financially save for his stable future. I want to secure a lavish lifestyle until he can independently do it on his on. I want him to feel fortunate that I’m his mother, I want him to be proud of me. Thinking of our longterm goals and plans, I sacrificed being away from him.

It was never easy and up now I’m still adjusting. So many nights I cried because I’m terribly missing him. Being together every 2 months, daily yahoo chats and phone conversations seems still not enough to stop my longing for him. Don’t worry my son, maybe in three years time – I will retire and be a full-time mommy for you.

Lastly, sharing to you the first ever letter I made for my son:





My dearest Zyrus Angel,

You made my life so meaningful and I thank God
for each day that we're together. Bear in mind that you're the best thing that ever happen to me. No matter what happen baby, mommy will always be there for you. No words can
explain how happy am I that you came into my life.


I loved you the very first day I knew that you are inside my womb. Since then, my love for you grows more each and every single day. I promise to provide you the best life possible. I love you very, very much my son!

Mommy Ybeth






Friday, January 9, 2009

The day Charles propose to Zhao Ang


I was in the middle of formatting resumes last Wednesday afternoon when I suddenly got a chat messages from my office seatmate Charles. I was suprise when he told me that this coming Friday he will make a marraige proposal to his Fiancee. He requested me to personally be with him on that special day to give him courage and moral support. I was honestly overwhelmed and honored, how can I say no being a witness to a very meaningful event?. Though Charles can be percieved as a perfectionist and hot-headed even on the simpliest reason, I know he also have soft romantic side. So while he was in the middle of sharing his ideal plan and asking me for other creative insights, I interupt him and said - "sure Charles. whatever happens, I will be there."

Charles and Zhao Ang first met way back 1999 at the National Univestiry of Singapore. They have been lovers since 2002 (whew, talking about more than 6 years relationship). They have been planning their wedding since 2006. And just last night... January 8/ 7pm at a crowded shopping mall infront of Gold Heart Jewelrey outlet, the much anticipated amazing proposal happened.

Charles and I left office at exactly 6:30pm and reach the venue after 15 minutes. He introduce me to his 2 friends - aside from support, their job is to monitor where Zhao Ang is and give a signal once she is near the place while I'm in-charge of staying with the future groom and making sure he is well-prepared. Wow! First time i saw Charles so tensed and nervous.The red roses were lovely and the teddy bear was so cute. He put the wedding ring to his pocket, took several snaps, then off he hide and waited for his lady to arrived. So let the pictures tell the rest of the story...

So nervous Charles still manage to smile for the camera



The sparkling wedding ring

Where to hide? Here?



Or here?


His lady will arrive any moment from now


So suprised Zhao Ang


Charles on a very loud voice he said - "I love you Zhao Ang. Marry me..."


Future wife still in shock mode


Now a little teary eyed

"Yes Charles, I will marry you..."
.
It took roughly just 5 minutes for the entire wedding proposal but I'm very sure that for Charles and Zhao Ang, the memories of it will be treasured for a lifetime. The future groom did an amazing job - from kneeling down up to loudly saying "i love you, will you marry me" 3 times. The scene also caught the public's attention as hundreds of them clap thier hands and cheered "wooohoooooo" when he was putting the ring on her.
.
Mr. and Mrs. Charles Zhuang
Me with the future groom
Me with the future bride
.
After greeting them personally, i rushed back to MRT to meet a friend for dinner. While on travel, my mind was still with what happened earlier. I'm so proud with my seatmate that I sent him an sms - congrats Charles, successful proposal". He replied after a few minutes by saying - "thank you so much, you gave me courage and full support".

So once again, ADVANCE BEST WISHES TO CHARLES AND ZHAO ANG!!!!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

My January 2009 Astrology Forecast


Being in the creative industry, Mr. A never runs out of fun ideas for us to explore together. Would you believe we went Chinatown and avail the services of an Astrologer and a Tarod card reder? Hahaha! Maybe he got this plan in line with the Chinese new year spirit (oppps, I don't even know if this things originated from chinese belief). Anyways... just thought of sharing to you the outcome of what transpired.

Of all the planet and the possibilities he explained, I will share only the significant ones (this ancient ritual is so high-tech now that the Astrologer emailed us our astrology report the next day - haha!) . Though we actually just did this for the fun and experience, I believe there is no harm making this as my month's pointer and guide.

My January Astrology Forecast:

1. The last part of January will be your best, and you may meet someone at your destination when traveling or on a public conveyance, especially near January 22-25.

2. Most romantic days: January 22, 23-25. Runner up dates: January 4, 16, and 17. (Romantic scenario is not only for lovers - may include family and friends as well).

3. Ask for a salary raise: January 2 when Saturn trines the Sun.

4. Finish a financial obligation and conclude a money-matter: at the full moon January 10 (plus or minus 3 days). More money may come in at this time too, quite unexpectedly.

5. Your spending will be high: all month, until February 4.

6. Your luckiest days of the year when Jupiter will conjoin the Sun: January 23 and 24.

7. A home-related matter brings an upturn: January 9.

8. A trip taken January 23-25 should be glorious. Give a party at home: January 22 or 24 if you don't travel.

9. Mercury will be retrograde from January 11 to February 1. Make no firm decisions, buy nothing expensive (especially not an electronic item), and do not sign contracts. The road ahead is a bit obscured. Next month you will know more and will be glad you held back.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

My First 2009 Weekend Get-away


It took me a lot of convincing effort before my mom finally approved my Indonesia weekend getaway. She believes that our family is prone to any water-related accidents – that is why she’s always nervous when we go swimming or do any water sports. Really weird because me and my son, as well as my siblings loves going beach or just taking a dip on the pool. However, she felt at ease upon knowing that I will travel together with Rica and her husband Tony. Rica is a very good friend of mine even way back college days. Relocated here in Singapore just a year ago and now married to a Singaporean businessman who is mostly out of the country. She’s like an elder sister to me – even the most disturbing facts of my past she knows. She is indeed a trusted friend that was there for me during the most trying times of my personal life.

During the planning stage, we initially choose Bintan. But Rica’s husband preferred to go Batam as he got free 18-hole play vouchers from Batam Hill Golf Resort (last December’s Christmas gift from a client he said). So unlike my last Malaysia trip that was totally backpacker style, this one was well-organized. We book everything to ensure a hassle-free vacation. We availed a complete package from ferry transfer to hotel accommodation up to shuttle services.
.
Saturday:

I met Rica and her husband at the Harbourfront ferry terminal at 7am and took the first ferry to Batam. Reached the Hotel Acacia at 7:30am (Indonesia time). Freshen up a little inside my room as a shuttle will pick us up at 9am and take us to Batam Hills Golf Resort.
.
Waiting for ferry boarding

My Deluxe Room


My room window view

Our shuttle hotel service
.
I got the surprise of my life when we reach there – Tony invited his other officemates to play with us on the 18-hole. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I instantly told them I won’t join anymore as all of them looked like professional players. Told them I won’t be of any challenge to them as I’m just an amateur and my last golf exposure was way back 2005 playing with my son’s dad. But they insisted – told them I will join only if Rica will play as well. So when Rica said “Ok, count me in”, I don’t have any other choice.


When Batam Hills Golf Resort shuttle arrived to pick us up
.
All together we proceed to the driving range and had 60 balls each. I availed the 30minutes recap tutorial just for me to remember the grip. Put my bag at the locker area then went main hall to rent the golf clubs (S$35) and golf shoe (S$10). No turning back as our assigned caddy took us to the golf course.

Enduring the 60-balls driving range


Waiting for our assigned buggy
.
The place is actually impressive and well-maintained. I can't help but compared it to some Manila golf course I was exposed to before - Baguio Country Club and Tagaytay Highlands. I honestly remembered some good memories of me and my son's dad. I smiled when I remembered too how my son will play the mini-golf course for kids. I promise myself that when Zyrus is back here in Singapore - we will go to Liliput so we can again play together. Miss you alot my son!

Golf Course

Last picture before I put my bag and phone on the locker

So after 5 hours of direct cancerous sun exposure, I obviously lost. My score is so pathetic that I can’t even mention it here in my blog (oh yes Tony, you won bigtime. I’m such a neophyte but at least I played better than your wife. Hehe…). Late lunch at the main restaurant and tour the entire vicinity before going back to the hotel.

Shared table w/ Rica while boys were having beer at the other table

5pm I met the couples at the lobby and all of us are ready for our city tour. We advise the shuttle to take us first to a recommended spa center. After a 10 minutes drive, we arrive at place – we got so excited to see that their services are so cheap. So we availed the 1.5 hour thai massage and 1.5 foot reflexology. Wow! Heaven! So relaxing. We ended up sipping an authentic ginger tea after our 3 hours theraphy.

While waiting for the shuttle to take us city


The recommended massage center

So cheap services


Very relaxed after my 3 hours treatment

Then we went to the town’s biggest shopping mall – Nagoya Hill. Bought some office dresses and home t-shirts. Quite cheap compare here in Singapore though I was very confuse with Rupiah denomination – talking about hundred thousand money bill. Nah! Had lunch at the mall foodcourt. Rica and I went back to the hotel at 10pm while Tony decided to go with his office friends for bar hopping.

Nagoya Hill foodcourt
.
Sunday:

Woke up at 8am and met Rica at the Hotel’s Main CafĂ© for our breakfast. Tony weren’t able to join us as per his wife, he went home at 4am and was a little drunk. The hotel was very dull and quiet. If not for the adequate staff, I will think that the place is condemned – as if we are the only guest left for that day. One good thing about it is that buffet table is only exclusive to us. Not bad right?

Lonely Hotel's cafe


Me at the buffet table


Spend the rest of the day checking the hotel amenities – went swimming, tried their simple gym and played minor sports like table tennis and billiards. Ate lunch again at hotel's restaurant (love the food actually). Check-out at 2pm and went directly at Sekupang terminal for our 3pm ferry schedule.

Love my fish fillet in oyster sauce lunch
.
Reached home at 4pm (Singapore time). Did my weekly room cleaning and laundry. Finishing this blog entry as I need to meet a friend at 8pm for a dinner at Changi Village hawker – heard seafoods are too good there.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Welcome 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!!

As we now start our lives dealing with 2009, I believe it's worth turning our back for one last time with 2008 and rekindle all memories associated with it. As for me, I have alot to thanked for as the last year went well with me.

Thank you for 2008 because:

- my family finally transfer to our new home.
- I won and gained full custody for my son.
- my whole family was healthy and no one got seriously sick.
- personally, I surpass a recent depression attack.
- this is the year I appreciated the people around me more and gained alot of frieds.
- this is the year I let myself be addicted (something or someone? :P) which admittedly made me very inspired.

Wishing that 2009 will still be a good year for me. Hope it will continue to be a year of happines, love and achievements. Below are my New Years resolution (just trying to be ideal.... please give me at least a month to break my commitment on this. hehe...):

- I promise to live a healthier life (lesser burger, lesser oily pizzas and lesser tequilas)
- I promise to spend wisely and save more (lesser impulse buying)
- I promise to motivate myself further to bigger work goals and output.
- I promise to be a better mommy to my one and only son.

I received alot of New Year greetings via SMS, though there is one that touched my feelings and seems worthy to explore about.

"2009 is at the door... Remember, life is rocking. So love truly, forgive quickly, laugh heartily and never regret anything that made you smile."

love truly - yeah, I know how to love truly. I believe loving truly is the same with loving someone unconditionally - and that previlege belongs to my family. My mom, my son and my siblings deserve to be loved with no questions asked. That even if in the future that will hurt or abandoned me, still I will be there for them. Aside form my family, I can't love others truly anymore - at least not on that same level. I love but I'm careful. I love but I let my mind rule as well. Lucky are those people who would take the risk truly loving someone without any aprehension - this is very hard for me.

forgive quickly - believe it or not, this is easy for me to do. I forgive people who wronged me - regardless how deep the impact will be. The only difference is that I never forget. I sincerely absolved them but future dealings with this people will never be the same. Trust won't be the same and level of relationship will never be the same. Don't know if it's bad or not.

laugh heartily - this one I know and been doing eversince - self explanatory to people who knows me well. Though on the other hand, I cry heartily also (again, self explanatory to people who knows me well).

never regret anything that made you smile - agree 101%.