Last November 23, I celebrated my birthday and turned 31 years old. Good wishes started pouring in Saturday night itself up to when the clock strike 12:00 midnight. 7:30am when I received my much awaited family call – my mom was teary eyed while saying how lucky she is for having me as a daughter; my siblings teasing me for being old already; and most especially my son who showered me with “I love you” and “I miss you”. Then, I spend the whole Sunday meeting friends by batches – 1 brunch at Swesens Tampines, 1 early lunch at Café Cartel Plaza Singapura, 1 late lunch at Hooters Clarkquay, 1 afternoon snack at The Pump Room Clarkquay and 1 BBQ dinner party at Rica’s flat. It was such a blast! I can’t obviously mention names one by one, so let me just acknowledge everyone in general. My sincerest thanks for all the personal and phone greetings, my gratitude for the friendster and multiply website birthday comments and my appreciation for the tons of offline chat messages I got. Kisses and hugs to all of you guys!!!
I can proudly say that I know myself better now. As years passed by, I was able to form beliefs that will guide me on my day-to-day survival. Past experiences taught me a lot. Sharing to you some of the learning I lived by:
- I’ve learned that happiness is subjective and there’s no such thing as a “guilt-free life”. That what might make me happy may mean suffering for someone. Sometimes you need to be strong and care less for others in order to be happy. It’s ok… life is never fair anyway.
- I’ve learned that no matter how advance and modern the world could be, Single Parenthood is still a norm deviant. That some people will forever condemn me for being one. That there will always be people who thinks I’m pathetic and may pray for my soul because they believe I’m a sinner.
- I’ve learned that life is a never-ending story. That friend/s and love ones may come and go. I’ve met a lot of different people along the way – some even created a deep impact in my life. Regardless of their intentions, don’t forget them. Especially the people from your past. For there will always be a reason why they didn’t made it in your present and future. Or for some, there will be explanations why you are still holding on for so long.
For the past 31 years of my existence, I had more than enough share of life’s triumph and shortfall. My life is a perfect combination of mess and order. Looking back, I’m surprise as to how I was able to surpass those challenges I encountered before. I can say that I’m more fortunate compared to other people same as my age. And this I owe to some significant person/s who served as my inspiration and played a big role influencing me:
- To my Father: Thank you for cultivating principles to me since I was young. Because of you I learned the importance of dignity and honor. I’m sorry if there were so much word left unsaid, hope you’re happy as to where you are now. Forgive me if it will take forever to forget you Dad.
- To my Mother: Thank you for supporting me and being with me with all of the major decisions I made in my life. I want you to know that I will forever be with you. I will take very good care of you and the whole family even if it will mean forgetting my own happiness. Our family means a lot to me than anything else in the world. With you rest my comfort zone.
- To my Son Zyrus: Thank you for coming into my life. You are my one and only treasure. You made me complete. I’m fulfilled because I know I have you. You mean the world to me. I love you so much my son. I’m sorry that I can’t provide a perfect traditional family set-up for you. I’m so sorry that you lack a father figure. Hope that in due time you will understand.
- To Zyrus’ Dad: You will forever remain as my son’s father, and for that you will remain special to me. I’m very grateful that because of you my son came to existence. Thank you for all those memories. It is actually you who taught me that there’s more to a relationship than love. You taught me that love is not enough reason to hold on.
- To my Singapore Boss Rita: Thanks for being my surrogate mother here in Singapore. You play a big part as to why I survive being away from my family. I’m sorry if most of the time I’m weak. Thank you for uplifting me when I’m down, I owe you a lot.
Being 31, I’m not perfect. I made a lot of wrong decisions in the past and stand up on principles I thought was right. I still have a lot of pains and difficulties I need to surpass. So many grief and wounds still not healed. It will definitely be a long journey. But looking back, I’m happy with what I am now.
I can proudly say that I know myself better now. As years passed by, I was able to form beliefs that will guide me on my day-to-day survival. Past experiences taught me a lot. Sharing to you some of the learning I lived by:
- I’ve learned that happiness is subjective and there’s no such thing as a “guilt-free life”. That what might make me happy may mean suffering for someone. Sometimes you need to be strong and care less for others in order to be happy. It’s ok… life is never fair anyway.
- I’ve learned that no matter how advance and modern the world could be, Single Parenthood is still a norm deviant. That some people will forever condemn me for being one. That there will always be people who thinks I’m pathetic and may pray for my soul because they believe I’m a sinner.
- I’ve learned that life is a never-ending story. That friend/s and love ones may come and go. I’ve met a lot of different people along the way – some even created a deep impact in my life. Regardless of their intentions, don’t forget them. Especially the people from your past. For there will always be a reason why they didn’t made it in your present and future. Or for some, there will be explanations why you are still holding on for so long.
For the past 31 years of my existence, I had more than enough share of life’s triumph and shortfall. My life is a perfect combination of mess and order. Looking back, I’m surprise as to how I was able to surpass those challenges I encountered before. I can say that I’m more fortunate compared to other people same as my age. And this I owe to some significant person/s who served as my inspiration and played a big role influencing me:
- To my Father: Thank you for cultivating principles to me since I was young. Because of you I learned the importance of dignity and honor. I’m sorry if there were so much word left unsaid, hope you’re happy as to where you are now. Forgive me if it will take forever to forget you Dad.
- To my Mother: Thank you for supporting me and being with me with all of the major decisions I made in my life. I want you to know that I will forever be with you. I will take very good care of you and the whole family even if it will mean forgetting my own happiness. Our family means a lot to me than anything else in the world. With you rest my comfort zone.
- To my Son Zyrus: Thank you for coming into my life. You are my one and only treasure. You made me complete. I’m fulfilled because I know I have you. You mean the world to me. I love you so much my son. I’m sorry that I can’t provide a perfect traditional family set-up for you. I’m so sorry that you lack a father figure. Hope that in due time you will understand.
- To Zyrus’ Dad: You will forever remain as my son’s father, and for that you will remain special to me. I’m very grateful that because of you my son came to existence. Thank you for all those memories. It is actually you who taught me that there’s more to a relationship than love. You taught me that love is not enough reason to hold on.
- To my Singapore Boss Rita: Thanks for being my surrogate mother here in Singapore. You play a big part as to why I survive being away from my family. I’m sorry if most of the time I’m weak. Thank you for uplifting me when I’m down, I owe you a lot.
Being 31, I’m not perfect. I made a lot of wrong decisions in the past and stand up on principles I thought was right. I still have a lot of pains and difficulties I need to surpass. So many grief and wounds still not healed. It will definitely be a long journey. But looking back, I’m happy with what I am now.
There will always be pride and joy on being Thirty something…
3 comments:
Great Mommy
Good one..
nice one, sis. happy birthday. :)
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